i start school this week.

i can hardly believe that the break is already over and another semester is beginning. i am a little reluctant to go back to school.

i have been having so many second thoughts about my major.

am i smart enough to get a degree. i already know i wont be able to pull straight A's and so i wont be able to get into graduate school to get my masters.

so possibly a music major?

well im not really sure if my voice is the kind of voice that is music major worthy. and i dont think i would be able to pick up an instrument this late in the game.

gah i hate this.

at this point my biggest enemy is myself.

i just cant seem to get up enough confidence after english kicked me in the face last semester.

i still feel like such a failure.

i know i shouldn't be "selling myself short" but really, i know myself. i wont be able to pull all A's especially in the mathematics department.

i feel like my entire life is going to suffer because my academics are so lacking.

time is flying by and i feel like i am not putting the time that is given to me to good use.

i feel like im loosing faith.

not in God

but in people 

and myself.